The New Kids on the Block Name Change: Aged Men in the Suburbs

I sit here giggling as Hubbs plays Aqualung on Rock Band 3 and I upload some photos to Facebook because the New Kids on the Block caught my eye in some ad -- oh, another friend of mine happens to ‘Like’ them that's what it was. So I click on their page and look around a little bit, tempted to hit ‘Like’ as well, but I don’t because I’m trying to cut back on my ‘Like’s (ridiculous, I know), and I start to think about how old these guys actually are.

Not a single one of them can claim that they are a ‘kid’ save for maybe in their minds, but let’s face it, they are men. Whether they like it or not. Seriously, Joey is gonna turn 39 this year, so, sorry guys, you are no longer ‘kids’, just like I am no longer a ‘girl’. You are ‘men’ in the same way I am a ‘woman’, deal with it.

In dealing with it, I’d like to suggest a name change. It isn’t quite as catchy as ‘New Kids on the Block’, but it suits you much better and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to take you seriously again. Okay, that’s doubtful, but I’ll get to that later (*cough* choreography *cough*).

As a semi-faithful fan (okay, not! But I do still giggle like an idiot when I hear them and their songs are still damn catchy; seriously, I love ‘Grown Man’ and somehow now I’d rather bang Donnie than Jordan, but that’s another conversation altogether…hmmm, perhaps I am a semi-faithful fan…I digress!), I, dutifully, suggest Aged Men in the Suburbs.

Here’s why:

Most of you have your own children (honestly, I know at least three of them have kids, I can’t be arsed to check on the other two), long time SO’s (breakups included), and probably property out the wazoo. Maybe even a li’l sumthin’, sumthin’, in – you guessed it – the Suburbs. Note that I did not say ‘Old Men’ (though it did cross my mind, but I don’t perceive late thirties/early forties as old because it ain’t) because age is what a good wine does, right? Puts a positive spin on things.

Many things that are enjoyed thoroughly are aged. Including, but not limited to steak, wine, and cheeses are all items that can be aged and some of these things, when aged are worth much more, yes?

Just a little something to think about. And does anyone else find it incredibly ironic that Jonathan is the Knight brother that turned out to be gay when Jordan was the one accused all the fucking time back in the day? Now Jordan’s kind of a perv. Ha ha-ha. Sorry, J, but I saw a few episodes of that VH1 show you were on before NKOTB managed to become relevant again and yeah…perv.

Yay! A short one!

xoxo

Dawn